playas and pilgrims

dear envelopes,

turns out life isn't so nice sometimes.  sometimes.. when i think about it, i'm not nice.


i dumped a guy after he told me he thought i was hotter with straight hair.


there i said it. i know it is completely whacked out, but that's basically the drift of it. well, to back up and be completely honest, that stupid sentence was what finally woke me up, the first clue in, from what was becoming a toxic relationship {you would have thought it should have been that he was 6years older than me, wasn't a Christian..but "spiritual", pushed me in some compromising situations and was a little too confident with himself!- but no, i'm stupid, remember, and he was charming.} i wish i had those months back i wasted with that dude.  i don't know how to describe it, but the hair thing just completely struck a chord in me and i didn't like it. i know my hair is all sorts of curly messy, uncontrollable, entirely too long, but well, that's me. and if someone doesn't accept how God made me, or like me au naturale, then i'm seriously not the right person for them. you can take your "i'm not going to love you in humidity or a rainstorm" self right outta here!

and it's not even about the curly hair, that's just like a symptom of the fact that he was trying to change me to fit into his life. hm, i have a better idea: why don't we just find a robot that looks like your past 3 girlfriends, straighten her hair, stick a beer in one hand and a foam hand for your favorite football team in the other!

God, what was i thinking! i love so easily.

i'm tired. i'm tired of the playas who make you believe all the far east lyrics, i'm tired of the pilgrims that can't look at you or they'll die or something.