height difference

3 weeks ago i was sleeping a nice round 6 inches off the floor via make-shift mattress and cotton sheet... (ah the bliss of moving! read: back: snap, crackle, pop)

one would tend to assume with the near floor-to-body proximity i would have felt especially 'grounded' at the time. ha, i can't imagine anything further from the truth. i could have sworn the room was spinning with the crazy thoughts in my head.

a hectic move across town... and twenty billion bills later, i stare upward and see bare white walls going up to meet the speckled dots once again.

it's confusing lying flat on the floor one week to overlooking the railing from a 3 story mansion for some doctor i work for the next...
life looks different...
and the same. i'm still the same.
it wouldn't matter if i was on a 30,000 ft. mountaintop or in the mariana trench... i've got the same problems, same difficulties. there are things not even the best environment can change...

and that's actually a good thing.

it's why i need God.

i'm not enough. my problems are too big for me. my failures-- are detrimental. like the old poem says 'i cannot ever pay the debt'.

at these moments, i'm so thankful for love that has a higher vantage than me. that there is promise of sunshine behind the clouds, and order in the chaos.

God, i'm just going to be hangin on for dear life, cause on your shoulders is the only time i can see.

neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. romans 8:39