old hands and long thoughts

i ride the bus a lot. every morning to school and every evening back. i guess i've never calculated it, but probably more than an hour is spent in the function "passenger on a noisy big bus with many people."
it's really okay. not really a big deal.

i just think a lot when i'm on the bus. oh and stare off into space-- two days ago, i was riding the regular route, somehow had managed to snag an actual seat on the bus, for once. tall sweaty people were mashed right up to me, standing, arms holding onto the metal bars over head. it's really pretty awkward to be six inches away from all the generic huge farmer-boys. so anyway i tried to purge my head of disgusting, imagine the smell away, and stare out the window. in the car next to the bus was an image that really intrigued me. it was these hands.

okay not really those particular ones, but so similar.

suddenly, i was lost. they were so beautiful to me. so strange. they were all i could see driving that little beat-up volkswagen with little sunflower on the dash. just those old hands.

mine don't look like that.
i glance down at my own. the bus pulled ahead, and made a wide turn down the next street. sunlight filtered in thorough the window on me. so smooth. so young. they really were a lie. my hands don't tell my story. they don't tell my life yet.

...they say that the first place you can tell a woman's age is by her hands. centuries of hand creams and lotions haven't been able to stop times progress on little wrinkles and furrows, made as the body looses it's natural fat stores there.

it's a sign you are dying.

i mean, not that you are going to physically keel over in the next five minutes, just that that you are following the natural order of things. an external sign that we aren't here forever. it is strange to think that you start to die the minute you are born.

i love old hands, they are so textured and crinkled and carry proud stories of life in another time. age spots and veins are like growth rings on a tree to me, telling quiet reflections of life.

i guess that they just remind me of eternity.

though they remind me we aren't here forever, they remind me that there is a Forever. though there is death in me, there is life in Him.

Then saith he to the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it forth; and it was restored whole Matthew 12:13

He knows my name

it's nice to be called your name.
it's nice when people know your name.

funny story-- yesterday one of my professors mentioned that scientists have found that humans' favorite word is their own name.

i believe it. across a crowded room, you can hear it, or being whispered about next room over by a roomate, your ears naturally perk up.

earlier today on campus, i was talking on the phone and pacing back and forth the sidewalk. two cute guys walked by me, up the sidewalk. then out of no where, i hear my name said. i turn around, way up the side walk the guys have stopped and are looking back. it's very strange. they said my name? i don't know them, do they know me through someone i know? then the guy walks down and pulls out my uid card. ohhhh! i dropped it!!

haha though it was totally unintentional, best pick up line evAR! lol all's left is for shining knight to write me on craigslist, and then we're set! hahahaha

anyways, back on topic, i guess it's nice when people know your name, because you're important. you matter to them. the thrill you feel hearing that the people you interviewed remembered you, or your internship supervisor gave you a good reivew, a wow moment of "huh! they actually knew my name!"

even greater to be known to God. God of the universe.

He knows my name. 

seriously.
knows everything about me. i like hearing that.

want!

--a real photography camera... smallest nikon that still has that huge lens deal on the front
--adobe photoshop and illustrator
--sephora or mac makeup collection/consultation
--gps
--designer bag/clutch
--toms shoes
--fossil watch
--other things i can't remember

:)thee list is short but sooo expensive!

heaven

in 10yrs they'll quote me on:

"never let anyone tell you can't be anything you want to be, look at young george clooney. the universe still offers hope that you can be a pompous hollywood actor even if you have ugly beginnings. there is no end to possibility. destiny smiles on nerds and bros alike." ©mvm2012

the only

designer bags i have.. 

are under each eye. :/


zoink.
::
goodnight!