this is not about steve jobs and bill gates

other people's lives make me really curious sometimes. most of the time i don't envy them (though sometimes the way i imagine them,i do). alot of the time i wonder what kind of things they are embarrassed by, or what factor controls their life, or how it feels to be them. it's just very weird to think about. i know my life has been composed of different feelings or at least ones that i contribute to different times.
when i was 6 i was prideful and shy
when i was 10 i wanted to understand
when i was 13 and 14 i was very sad, and confused
15-16 i wanted so much to be beautiful and to be liked
17 i don't remember
18 i felt so young, horribly young. i also felt so stubborn.
19 i felt behind already in life.
20 i feel creative,

how do people feel about themselves? it's not like someone can just post a status update-- at this point of my life i just feel.. uninformed ,and this manifests itself in every area of my life.' you know, hm.


better question is how do these guys feel?

while it's still today

(15 min after valentine's) i will listen to my valentine playlist--songs that remind me of the people i love more than any other people.

dad: "tomorrow"
mom: "first day of my life"
jedidiah: "daylight"
josiah: "you've got a friend in me"
micah: "baby, baby"

i think i will feel a little bit sad and happy, and go to bed.