About Me

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a girl who's thoughts escape her words.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

woody guthrie 1943

 
1. Work more and better
2. Work by a schedule
3. Wash teeth if any
4. Shave
5. Take bath
6. Eat good — fruit — vegetables — milk
7. Drink very scant if any
8. Write a song a day
9. Wear clean clothes — look good
10. Shine shoes
11. Change socks
12. Change bed cloths often
13. Read lots good books
14. Listen to radio a lot
15. Learn people better
16. Keep rancho clean
17. Dont get lonesome
18. Stay glad
19. Keep hoping machine running
20. Dream good
21. Bank all extra money
22. Save dough
23. Have company but dont waste time
24. Send Mary and kids money
25. Play and sing good
26. Dance better
27. Help win war — beat fascism
28. Love mama
29. Love papa
30. Love Pete
31. Love everybody
32. Make up your mind
33. Wake up and fight

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Rescuer

"the ones we rescue, rescue us...."


it was a quote i had heard recently on a some movie commercial in the theater.

strange, i've been thinking about it a lot recently... enough that i wanted to write about it.

for some reason, my mind often will remember with vivid clarity a particular quote or situation that may not be the main point of the particular instance but it gets filed with a little *remember this is important* star right beside it. this function of my brain is actually super helpful... it's why it's impossible for me to be bored in boring situations. for a {short} period of time in college i attended a church where the pastor was close to the worst speaker i have ever heard in my life-- he would drone on and on the driest sermons i had ever heard. somehow i was able to pick up on little sub-points that i thought were much more interesting and managed to come away with some kind of spiritual substance from the whole ordeal. haha... now that i think about it, this feature has probably has helped me deal with several unimaginative people in the past.

anyway. all this to say, even though the aforementioned movie commercial looked decent, though not particularly remarkable... the quote was definitely file-worthy.

i want to be a rescuer.

11.4 million+ girls are trafficked yearly. that's not okay. it's sad that beautiful human beings get abused this way. i wish it could be as easy as wiping out sporting events where the largest majority of slavery happens or preventing thousands of people from clicking sites online. but it's not that simple. all you can do, is do what you personally can. it can happen in a variety of daily life choices, what you watch, what you buy, what you give your money to, how you teach the next generation. 

i support a little indonesian girl from childfund international and i may never fully know what difference that made in her life or her family's life. that doesn't mean that it's not important though. flailing your arms about how you cannot solve the world's problems is pointless... when you can indeed help to solve one person's problems. give until it hurts, and then keep giving.

rescue those your arm is right by.  

it would be silly to think of driving across town to check on a friend when your neighbor's house is burning down next door. in the same way, God puts people right by us so we can rescue them. when my family had a trying financial situation, it was surprising to see not close friends, not close family, not the inflated corporate church... but one individual without a full-time job reach out to help. people get so lost flinging money at rich people that they don't have any left for people that need it.



 rescue because He rescued us.

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13
 

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

keep your coins, i want change


I used to change a lot when I was little.

First the princess dress went on, then the white kid-leather cowboy boots with heels. Next minute it was my Minnie t-shirt... I never stayed in the same outfit for long. Days were an endless transformation from one dream to the next. Is it any wonder I love fashion so much?

I don't remember when it was that I started to not like change. Perhaps it was the day I had to move away from my friend next door? Was it when I was too tall to fit in the Fisher-Price Flintstone Car?

I'm not sure. I've had a million and one changes since then... thank God. And I can say that honestly... thank God for all the changes He's brought me through. 

Humans are naturally inclined to be resistant to change. I was reading a marketing blurb the other day about a couple reasons people resist change:
  • When the reason for the change is unclear, ambiguity can trigger negative reactions among users.
  • When the proposed users have not been consulted about the change, and it is offered to them as an accomplished fact.  People like to know what's going on, and feel informed and in a perceived state of control.
  • When the change threatens to modify established patterns of working relationships between people.
  • When communication about the change has not been sufficient.
  • When the benefits and rewards for making the change are not seen as adequate for the trouble involved.
It makes sense; change is not pleasant. It's an ending. It's a replacement of the known with the unknown.

I'm realizing though.. change is necessary. It is what facilitates growth.


I was on a walk with a friend last week in this beautiful fall weather and I noticed the most gorgeous fiery red and orange maple tree. The leaves were slowly fluttering to the ground around us as we walked. Jesus often told his followers to look to nature-- the lilies of the fields, the birds... Proverbs tells us to look to the ant... I can't help but feel God had a special message for me.


Sometimes letting go of something you thought was good is the only way that something better can happen.

As I watched each leaf fall to the ground, it was like the tree was uncurling a clenched finger one after another until only an open palm toward heaven was left.
Image result for prayer leavesfall





God, thank you for bringing about change... and help me to embrace it gracefully like the tree.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Monday, August 22, 2016

height difference

3 weeks ago i was sleeping a nice round 6 inches off the floor via make-shift mattress and cotton sheet... (ah the bliss of moving! read: back: snap, crackle, pop)

one would tend to assume with the near floor-to-body proximity i would have felt especially 'grounded' at the time. ha, i can't imagine anything further from the truth. i could have sworn the room was spinning with the crazy thoughts in my head.

a hectic move across town... and twenty billion bills later, i stare upward and see bare white walls going up to meet the speckled dots once again.

it's confusing lying flat on the floor one week to overlooking the railing from a 3 story mansion for some doctor i work for the next...
life looks different...
and the same. i'm still the same.
it wouldn't matter if i was on a 30,000 ft. mountaintop or in the mariana trench... i've got the same problems, same difficulties. there are things not even the best environment can change...

and that's actually a good thing.

it's why i need God.

i'm not enough. my problems are too big for me. my failures-- are detrimental. like the old poem says 'i cannot ever pay the debt'.

at these moments, i'm so thankful for love that has a higher vantage than me. that there is promise of sunshine behind the clouds, and order in the chaos.

God, i'm just going to be hangin on for dear life, cause on your shoulders is the only time i can see.

neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. romans 8:39


Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Real


THERE was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen. On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the Boy's stocking, with a sprig of holly between his paws, the effect was charming.

There were other things in the stocking, nuts and oranges and a toy engine, and chocolate almonds and a clockwork mouse, but the Rabbit was quite the best of all. For at least two hours the Boy loved him, and then Aunts and Uncles came to dinner, and there was a great rustling of tissue paper and unwrapping of parcels, and in the excitement of looking at all the new presents the Velveteen Rabbit was forgotten.

For a long time, he lived in the toy cupboard or on the nursery floor, and no one thought very much about him. He was naturally shy, and being only made of velveteen, some of the more expensive toys quite snubbed him. The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon everyone else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real. The model boat, who had lived through two seasons and lost most of his paint, caught the tone from them and never missed an opportunity of referring to his rigging in technical terms. The Rabbit could not claim to be a model of anything, for he didn't know that real rabbits existed; he thought they were all stuffed with sawdust like himself, and he understood that sawdust was quite out-of-date and should never be mentioned in modern circles. Even the jointed wooden lion, who was made by the disabled soldiers, and should have had broader views, put on airs and pretended he was connected with Government. Between them all, the poor little Rabbit was made to feel himself very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him at all was the Skin Horse.

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

--excerpt from: The Velveteen Rabbit, 1922 by Margery Williams