fall sweaters

God, after today all i can say is~ you have quite the sense of humor! ;) & i have the sneaking suspicion you  love these sweater looks as much as I do?

i tried.

honest to goodness i tried.
i told you this was coming, should have just believed me~

...and begin rant.

welp.
so i'm pretty quiet some of the time, with that 'some' being when i want to be, or merely when i am extremely uncomfortable. a lot of times i think people read me very wrong.

other's perceptions
1. i am conceited.
2. i am prissy.
3. i am judgmental.
4. i am rich?

truth of the matter
1. i actually find this the most {annoying} common myth that goes around about me. people that know me all know i really dislike talking about myself/ i have an almost in-bedded nature to word all my insights/answers as questions /and generally lean too far on the 'not liking myself side' to even register on the 'full of myself side'.

2. though i wear (gasp!) makeup, or at times dress nice, i am actually very oudoorsy. give me a trail with trees and a free afternoon and i'm golden: i will disappear for hours exploring.  furthermore~ i grew up with 2 brothers and paid my fair dues in the tomboy category, i guess i just don't feel the need to prove it to you by dirt in my fingernails.

3. it invariably happens. i tell someone i'm in fashion, and they start to get all self-conscious about what they are wearing. i could honestly care less! like a doctor, i've seen it all, and it doesn't phase me anymore. i'd much rather see people in their natural style/element than them adapt to what they think i would like. while you're worrying that i'm judging you for looking like a slob in sweatpants and a hoodie, i am {honestly} probably thinking how accurate last week's trend meeting that "athleisure" is going to be our best seller.

4. though i do have a very good paying job, i did not grow up having a life of financial ease by any means. i paid for school myself by working part-time/ heck, even full-time! jobs year-round even during 22 credit semesters at school! still today, i use coupons at the grocery store and all of my furniture is not even from the same decade(s) to even consider matching.



so you can take all that silent judgement~and go judge someone else.


no, don't do that.

seems to me..

that money is the worst friend you could ever know. you know, you would think that money would owe you: after all that you did to get it, surely you rightfully deserve a bit of
+respect
+prestige
+happiness
+comfort
for slaving to accumulate so much of it. yeah, ah/ funny thing...

money doesn't owe you nothing.

and you better believe i meant every word of that double-negative as emphasis. the hard, cold reality is that:

money doesn't owe you, it rather owns you.


let me tell a little uninteresting story. so in college there was a girl i knew...

i should clarify 'knew' in the very loosest sense of the word (i.e. invariably happen to see a thousand times more than i would like to in a week, and hear her loud conversations with her groupies in the lab, and may/may not have stumbled upon her daily style blog by unscrupulous googling? of her name (don't ask).

okay rambling aside, the point is: there was this girl. and i don't really "know know" her but i had aloooot of exposure to her. let's call her *britney.
*googling works both ways, even i know that.

britney was a particularly mean girl. snarky laugh, chiseled upturned nose, 6ft tall legs.. (and that's not even counting how tall the rest of her was): she was the whole shebang. but apparently her perfect exterior, posterior, and all other super-ior aspects did not make her a very happy camper. i think she chanel-ed quite a bit of her unhappiness into buying a lot of designer clothes, shoes, handbags, accessories. we're talking a lot.

any remaining negative energy i suppose was fueled right into her second largest passion: malicious meanness. ah yes, not a student, professor, nor cute visiting foreign-exchange family escaped her cruel sneering comments to her inseparable friend-pack.

one day in the lab, i was writing a research paper and per-usual britney and her driveling friend-pack decided the lab was the perfect place to socialize and be loud.

**i typed their following exact words into my email at school when i heard them so as to not forget

britney: "my super freaking rich step dad just sent me diane von furensburg luggage for my trip to itallyyyyyyy. he even signed it with a little heart.  omg omg, im like seriously 'i love you so much' right now in my head."

friend: "omg, we can't be friends right now, i'm totally serious. my target luggage is going to look so bad next to yours."

it was then... that i felt bad. no more for my poor little self. 
unbeknownst to my cackling adjacencies, their boasting was making me very sad for them. :/
i know they meant something else, something surely more glamorous, but all i could hear was:

-no dad
-new guy whose one claim to fame is being freakishly rich
-traveling halfway across the world, and all someone can muster to write to you is a 'heart'?
-"i love you so much"... but in your head? you can't say it to him?
-you love someone only for what cowhide/leather high price item they can give to you?
-a friend doesn't want to be your friend anymore because of how they will look next to you?


that's all that there is for them... things. 

owned by money. 'owned' by an unmistakable thirst to matter, to mean something by what they have. 


For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1Timothy 6:10


in my Bible, for some reason i wrote beside that verse exodus 21:6 about a master piercing a servants ear to show ownership. money also has a way of piercing into your soul and controlling you.


note to self: don't buy the chanel earrings. ;)

can i have a dollar for me?

really want:

http://www.tobi.com/product/35351-keds-champion-saddle-sneakers?color_id=43977

wouldn't they really be perfect with skinny jeans! .. i almost don't want anyone else to discover them. :S

loveee.

lace flares from bonadrag

chicago

just got back from chicago... with the 'just' being four hours ago. it was quite fun, dozing in out of sleep in the car, trudging around the city with my brother and mom, being asked by tourists how to get places (weird. can't people tell i'm not from there either?!) and looking at a couple groceries as well as an apartment. it was drizzly at first and then rainy. ....oh, and, talk about major fashion error: me! i had stayed up the night before trying to find something (unwrinkled) in my closet that would work for the trip. i decided on light flare jeans, the faded olive screen tee i always wear, my gold little-miss-muffet locket necklace, and my brown sholder bag. hello wrong descision. my flares sucked up water faster than capillary action, walking around those rainy streets. so nearly up to my knee was a lovely soppy dark blue while the rest of my pants remained light. it was also rather cold, so i had to wear my black fur hoodie, of which the fur was the exact color of my hopelessly humid frizzy hair.... which resulted in the illusion of hair sticking out every which way. my. i must have been a fright. thankfully i did have an umbrella... (i think we walked about two miles total). but anyway, despite my pretty major fashion blunder(s), i *did* have fun. ;) chicago is absulutely glamourous at the same time quirky. (glorious designer boutiques and street markets.... artsy appartments and skyscrapers...) my brother got an appartment with a very nice view of the city and the john hancock building. i'm happy that everything worked out.

...hmm. now just to dry out my wet shoes.