Fun quiz

 

***How to tell if you or your friends are Arrogant!***
Fun, brand new quiz!

Since it has been the over-whelming trend in politics to say whatever idiotic thing is on your mind...
today I will offer the world a great service and only say part of what I'm thinking. ;-)

Something I don't understand and will never understand is why people love arrogant people so darn much!

Why would you love/respect/admire someone whose care and concern is only for their own pathetic self?! I just don't get it. Plus arrogant people are not exactly a barrel of fun to be around anyways.
Society feeds the lie that the Ego is great and to be worshiped... the "put yourself first" braggart mentality abounds... so common even among believers. I like what Einstein said better:

God, save our country. Save us from ourselves. Keep us from being wise fools.    

I can't help but echo the words of a man nearly forty years ago... convicts me every time I hear it... "And I know how I ought to be, alive to You and dead to me."

More of you, less of me.

somedays...

believe it or not, this doesn't even cover it.

yep.

BAD BAD BAAAAAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BADDD BAD BAD BAD Bad bad bad BAD BAAAAD Bad BAD day, ya'll. 

...

ah. there~ i feel better already for expressing myself quite so articulately.

 and may i add, so succinctly! not to brag or anything but~ 20 words properly handled, mind you, can certainly paint a masterpiece.

In the words of

the sometimes simplistically elegant jack johnson,
"lovin' someone... don't make them love you"

i should know, i've been on both sides of the coin a few too many times than i care to remember.

oh God, remember those prayers consisting solely of the words "lord, make him love me" chanted over and over?! yeah, i'm not proud of it. teenage desperation, what can i say. (would you like some over-easy eggs with that rare honesty?) .... hey, at least i admit it.

anyways, women get the notorious bad (w)rap for this, {though we alllll do it}, we basically want what we can't have.

maybe it traces back to the garden of eden, or was it when the notebook came out?~ who knows. but i've also blocked enough numbers of real-life stalker dudes to know that it is by no means a female-exclusive issue.

it's been my experience in relationships (heck, even in friendships too), that there is always one person of the two that cares a little less than the other.

yeah i'll be the 7 billionth person to commiserate right with you:
"one-sided relationships.. suck"

so don't be in one.
that's right, you heard me right~
you do have a choice in the matter don't you?

don't waste your time on something you know is one-sided. here's a bright idea~ just be excellent to each other. and that's it. all those unrealistic expectations for that other person? throw 'em right out the window. giving to get is not any kind of real love.

it's amazing what a freeing feeling that is to quit trying to play God and conniving your way into a relationship with someone that wasn't meant to be. plus, it seems like a pretty widely accepted fact that it's all around just 'better' to not be delusional.

i mean, follow my example if nothing else~ me and david beckham have somehow managed to stay pretty amicable throughout the years.... even though i told him he's too old for me and i don't even like sports.

valentine schmalentine

truth of the matter is... saying i'm "kind of" a feminist, well~ let's just say is putting it mildly.

i have a major problem with what seems to be men and society's generalized norms of male/female expectations.

but i don't have time for all that. I will focus this weeks' spirited one sided discussion on a particular classic behavior set that drives me wild. (& not in a good way~ ugh really! have you been listening to anything I've been saying!?)

1. THE CAVE-MAN FORMULA
(equivalent roughly to: ME SINGLE + U SINGLE = U NOT ONLY REQUIRED BUT ALSO OBLIGATED TO DATE ME.

yep, let's just discount that the other person has any kind of brain or any inkling of interest in you and man-handle them into a relationship with you! I mean, c'mon~ why wouldn't you?

and women! don't you know you are nothing as a unattached female and surely your only validation in life is to be thrown over the arm of whatever brute that approaches you!? moreover, you should be happy and thankful for being 'selected' and promptly make a sammich to express your joy.

guys~ maybe that girl you're so baffled by why she doesn't like you~ take a step back and THINK: 'hmm... am i just assuming that because she is single she will by default have a strong emotional bond and connection with me?' 'does she perhaps have some other ambitions in life other than me a random creeper?'

ugh nevermind. enough~ if you will excuse me, i have some better things to do:

i tried.

honest to goodness i tried.
i told you this was coming, should have just believed me~

...and begin rant.

welp.
so i'm pretty quiet some of the time, with that 'some' being when i want to be, or merely when i am extremely uncomfortable. a lot of times i think people read me very wrong.

other's perceptions
1. i am conceited.
2. i am prissy.
3. i am judgmental.
4. i am rich?

truth of the matter
1. i actually find this the most {annoying} common myth that goes around about me. people that know me all know i really dislike talking about myself/ i have an almost in-bedded nature to word all my insights/answers as questions /and generally lean too far on the 'not liking myself side' to even register on the 'full of myself side'.

2. though i wear (gasp!) makeup, or at times dress nice, i am actually very oudoorsy. give me a trail with trees and a free afternoon and i'm golden: i will disappear for hours exploring.  furthermore~ i grew up with 2 brothers and paid my fair dues in the tomboy category, i guess i just don't feel the need to prove it to you by dirt in my fingernails.

3. it invariably happens. i tell someone i'm in fashion, and they start to get all self-conscious about what they are wearing. i could honestly care less! like a doctor, i've seen it all, and it doesn't phase me anymore. i'd much rather see people in their natural style/element than them adapt to what they think i would like. while you're worrying that i'm judging you for looking like a slob in sweatpants and a hoodie, i am {honestly} probably thinking how accurate last week's trend meeting that "athleisure" is going to be our best seller.

4. though i do have a very good paying job, i did not grow up having a life of financial ease by any means. i paid for school myself by working part-time/ heck, even full-time! jobs year-round even during 22 credit semesters at school! still today, i use coupons at the grocery store and all of my furniture is not even from the same decade(s) to even consider matching.



so you can take all that silent judgement~and go judge someone else.


no, don't do that.

nicks, burns, and fenders

'i could just... kick myself.' ah, said those words a few too many times.
and lets not even talk about regrets, i have surprisingly many for someone that doesn't believe in living life looking backwards. all the same~ ideology aside, they're there. p e r m a n e n t . and ugly.

this summer i had the chance to be home for a brief bit, which was (let me tell you!) wonderful. but, i don't know if many would understand this, at the same time it was very memory-inducing, if that's even a thing. i blame you, vile cardboard boxes!

memories are a good thing, most of the time. and if you're perfect: all the time, i suppose~
but sometimes for those of the other 99% of the population that came down with the streak of stupid, not. so. much.

i mean, for one, i have only to look around the house to see a historical record of some of my young atrocities. at the kitchen counter is the large circular burn ring from the time i hastily yanked a boiling-over pan off the burner.. and onto the flammable laminate beside it.  the ugly scar of sorts is there to date. might not seam like a big deal, but it really bothers me.

there are things that really can't be fixed. things that were caused by me. my intentional or unintentional stupidity that others had to suffer for. maybe it's that i'm getting older or learning to take responsibility but it's painful to think on these things now.

the age-old: 'view from the valley before the perspective of a hill.' and yeah.. i know, then even the hill looks different in 20 years.

oh i can remember the times i swelled with joy at the feeling of parent's car keys hitting my hot little teenager hands. yes! i was independent! i was free! i could drive alone! one day to my dismay, when i returned from whatever activity or another, a nasty dent was waiting for me on the rear bumper by some hit and run. i had ruined my parents car!! well, not me, but some other idiotic student driver like myself. ugh. i shake my head now. why?! driving alone's not that fun anyway! why was i so stupid? i could have just as easily let my parents drop me off back then, with no chance of that happening. 

i definitely feel really bad about all of these things. and it gets me thinking... what about things not so tangible? where's the insurance payout for the internal damage i've left on others feelings, hearts...
what nicks and burns and fender benders have i inflicted deep upon others?

i guess i'm really thankful for God (and people like my parents!) who don't just overlook my mistakes but choose to forgive. the Bible says that 'love keeps no record of wrongs'...

for this i am so thankful...
especially when they are (very visibly) permanently etched into a counter top or dented into your car.


❤

in 10yrs they'll quote me on:

"never let anyone tell you can't be anything you want to be, look at young george clooney. the universe still offers hope that you can be a pompous hollywood actor even if you have ugly beginnings. there is no end to possibility. destiny smiles on nerds and bros alike." ©mvm2012

grrr!

http://qkme.me/36ijug

vendo-land

so God is no way a genie in a bottle or a slot machine we can just put our good deeds or prayers into an receive a reward... but sometimes, he works like vending machines. yesterday i was very hungry...starving even (more accurately malnourished on solely peanut butter sandwiches and noodles.. and payday is a long way coming) and stopped by the vending machines at school between classes. i had three dollar bills in my wallet. {uh oh.} i usually try to keep those un-spent in case i run into trouble, needed to pay a tip, cab, public phone, bad guy, ect. but i was just too tempted and vendo-land seemed strangely beautiful, (not to mention has an ice cream vending machine with a mechanical arm as well, but that's another story). i determined beforehand i would make good choices, so i bit my lip, and stepped up to the third machine on the right. yes, there, $2.75 was a chicken sandwich in a wrapper. shunning all other candy, delectable treats, and caffeine-induced energy; i put in my last three dollars. i needed this, i can't remember the last time i had protein.  i consciously thought, i'm embarrassed to admit, what was i going to do in case of an emergency or next time i don't have food at the apartment? the machine whirred and then dropped my sandwich down into the drawer. i thought about pushing the coin return button.. after all, it's my quarter, thank you very much! i didn't though, that's what i would have usually done. i just bent down got my sandwich out of the door. *clink, clink, clink... coins were dropping into the coin return. *clink, clink, clink, clink.. okay, i think that was more than the sound one quarter makes. i hear coins keep dropping. almost afraid, i just kind of stand there. did i break the machine? (quick look around) did i just hit the jackpot? no, i tell myself, it probably is just malfunctioning and giving me my change back in dimes and nickles (which it does deposit change in at times). it keeps dropping coins. *clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink..faster.. at this point, i don't open the little metal coin door because i don't want it to stop. *clink, clink... finally, complete silence. i open the door and not only all the money i paid for my sandwich was there but also a TON more change! not just any change, but QUARTERS! i couldn't believe it.

God provided for me. a wave of thoughts flooded my head. i thought of joseph~ returning all of his brothers money back with them in their bags of grain, of the children of israel picking up mana every day, i thought of the parable of the lost coin~how precious it was to her. He cared about me. my little~ He made much of. He gave me my daily bread.

He ASTOUNDS us with his goodness... and then! ...and then, how quickly we forget..

my memory apparently wasn't functioning well, at all. the next day, {today} i am drawn to vendo-land again. i think i'm thinking i'm going to "rub the bottle again and the genie will come out"...so to speak, create the same stimuli and get the desired response. {in case you're not getting it, let me spell that out for you: g r e e d.} something catches my eye, first machine on the left. a lemon vitamin water was stuck inside sideways up against the glass, apparently a machine error. i banged on the glass, it budged enough to fall leaning on a blue propel/gatorade or something. here's my chance another free thing! i shake the door, no luck, and then put in my money and hit C08 ~ the blue propel, thinking that will push the lemon vitamin water down as well, thus getting two drinks with my money! no such magic... no propel, no lemon vitamin water, no refund. arrg. this is annoying. it ate MY MONEY! i was mad. where's the customer service number for this stupid machine. i kinda tapped my foot even and sighed loud. urg. and my money too!, my money... do you know how poor i am, i could have used that!? i turned the phrase over in my head.... no, something wasn't sounding right... oh. oh yeah...my money?... wasn't this the same money that God gave me yesterday? the same quarters? i mentally slap myself. i'm so stupid. so ungrateful. why do i worry? its up to God anyway.

i just felt. i don't know, overwhelming [[trust]]. right then.

and not just about the providing me vending machine items, just in regards to a lot on my mind.... i turn around to leave. a man with olive green coveralls comes around corner. "hey, your machine got stuck? here, have some change."

...no joke. wow.................... God.

day in the life

{finals week}
9:45 barely wake up. stayed awake most of night/day before. try to find clothes and the match to shoe. get ready,pile 20 pounds books supplies and computer into bag.
10:30 high-tail it out down interstate to be filmed for kirkwood. avoided cop speed trap.
11:00 find parking spot. i was supposed to be at appt.
11:10 get to 102. late. out of breath. horrible hair. he was a really nice interviewer but young i got soso nervous. i kept messing up my words. horrible, not making this up. caught on film and impression for all eternity.
12:00 stats class with my incredibly good looking professor--his best color is red! we did group work that I am nervous about--still have not finished.
1:00 comp class-- nervous to go because do not have my part of powerpoint done and have not turned in proposal that was due long time ago. still went.
1:50 walk all the way from cedar to linn parking lot outside with little tee on. very cold. see someone i see all the time but they always look at their feet. awkward all around. try to find car. go home incredibly stressed, call mother. get text on the road from person at work wanting me to work for them.
2-4 run around with my head cut of at home/eat/get ready/yell at mom just because stressed/and try to figure out if i can add yet another thing to schedule. then phone call from friend wanting project info from last year buried somewhere in my computer.
4:30 jump in car to charge to dress rehearsal.
5:00 sit around waiting and then learn two routines.. don't know them very well.am i going to be able to do this day of show?
6:30 have to leave when it's just really starting to get going and real run-thru. people are probably mad.
7:15 get to hair appt. ONLY time hair appt would work before show and london. highlights and cut. lied about where i live. loser. generally was pretty nice for a brittney, nicest i've ever met. thank God text person doesn't still want me to come into work.
8:45 done, give 8 dollar tip, because i determined beforehand i would not overtip (like always)except now in this case, probably should have. new customer: write down address-- have to write home. caught in lie.
9:00 home. jiggity-ji... nevermind. people are mad at me.remember because i yelled?
11:04 sorry to everyone. and sorry for me. and i'm too tired to make people believe that i really do mean it.

playas and pilgrims

dear envelopes,

turns out life isn't so nice sometimes.  sometimes.. when i think about it, i'm not nice.


i dumped a guy after he told me he thought i was hotter with straight hair.


there i said it. i know it is completely whacked out, but that's basically the drift of it. well, to back up and be completely honest, that stupid sentence was what finally woke me up, the first clue in, from what was becoming a toxic relationship {you would have thought it should have been that he was 6years older than me, wasn't a Christian..but "spiritual", pushed me in some compromising situations and was a little too confident with himself!- but no, i'm stupid, remember, and he was charming.} i wish i had those months back i wasted with that dude.  i don't know how to describe it, but the hair thing just completely struck a chord in me and i didn't like it. i know my hair is all sorts of curly messy, uncontrollable, entirely too long, but well, that's me. and if someone doesn't accept how God made me, or like me au naturale, then i'm seriously not the right person for them. you can take your "i'm not going to love you in humidity or a rainstorm" self right outta here!

and it's not even about the curly hair, that's just like a symptom of the fact that he was trying to change me to fit into his life. hm, i have a better idea: why don't we just find a robot that looks like your past 3 girlfriends, straighten her hair, stick a beer in one hand and a foam hand for your favorite football team in the other!

God, what was i thinking! i love so easily.

i'm tired. i'm tired of the playas who make you believe all the far east lyrics, i'm tired of the pilgrims that can't look at you or they'll die or something.

disclaimer

i am about to really start writing a blog. i'm going to write whatever i want often perhaps.


note: all your "well, isn't she hoity toity know it all" stupid thinkings here (that's not even proper grammar, ! so don't go there). get a life, i'm not even like that ;)

test

this is a stupid test post.