so much

to think about. so why don't i blog.
in no particular order: (imagine following thought processes as angel thin linguine unraveled from something like a double helix)

~today's a day that i look back and think 'i actually made some really wise decisions.' decisions by myself that were beyond me and my maturity level at the time. thanks be to God!

~if in 1 shift i make 2,000 for the company, why do i make so little?

~what could even be the reasons possible for me not being able to say no? rejection, fear, loss of worth? but at least consciously- none of these are important to me. i think i just don't like hurting peoples feelings

~i really need to work out. the race is not always to the fast but to they that keep running.

~you know what, you would be more convincing if you wouldn't follow statements with "at least in my opinion, for me that's the case, or i kinda think." let people decide-- without shooting yourself in the foot. it's understood that it's only your opinion, to outright mention it, it's weakening.

~who is surrendering themselves-- God to letting you do your thing, or you to Him?

~we are Gods Opus. a beautiful swirling symphony.

~my fingers wore away the center of the rubber on the leftclick key of my laptop.

~God didn't market himself well at all as a leader would today. he had the lowliest of births, the grossest and dumbest people and friends as followers. the meekest approach to everything. He completely turned the world on end, rightside up.

~there is hope.

day in the life

{finals week}
9:45 barely wake up. stayed awake most of night/day before. try to find clothes and the match to shoe. get ready,pile 20 pounds books supplies and computer into bag.
10:30 high-tail it out down interstate to be filmed for kirkwood. avoided cop speed trap.
11:00 find parking spot. i was supposed to be at appt.
11:10 get to 102. late. out of breath. horrible hair. he was a really nice interviewer but young i got soso nervous. i kept messing up my words. horrible, not making this up. caught on film and impression for all eternity.
12:00 stats class with my incredibly good looking professor--his best color is red! we did group work that I am nervous about--still have not finished.
1:00 comp class-- nervous to go because do not have my part of powerpoint done and have not turned in proposal that was due long time ago. still went.
1:50 walk all the way from cedar to linn parking lot outside with little tee on. very cold. see someone i see all the time but they always look at their feet. awkward all around. try to find car. go home incredibly stressed, call mother. get text on the road from person at work wanting me to work for them.
2-4 run around with my head cut of at home/eat/get ready/yell at mom just because stressed/and try to figure out if i can add yet another thing to schedule. then phone call from friend wanting project info from last year buried somewhere in my computer.
4:30 jump in car to charge to dress rehearsal.
5:00 sit around waiting and then learn two routines.. don't know them very well.am i going to be able to do this day of show?
6:30 have to leave when it's just really starting to get going and real run-thru. people are probably mad.
7:15 get to hair appt. ONLY time hair appt would work before show and london. highlights and cut. lied about where i live. loser. generally was pretty nice for a brittney, nicest i've ever met. thank God text person doesn't still want me to come into work.
8:45 done, give 8 dollar tip, because i determined beforehand i would not overtip (like always)except now in this case, probably should have. new customer: write down address-- have to write home. caught in lie.
9:00 home. jiggity-ji... nevermind. people are mad at me.remember because i yelled?
11:04 sorry to everyone. and sorry for me. and i'm too tired to make people believe that i really do mean it.

congrats you have become

my most played remix!

tell me i'm not the only one??

 "Signs of a sidewalk rager include muttering or bumping into others; uncaringly hogging a walking lane; and acting in a hostile manner by staring, giving a "mean face" or approaching others too closely" hehe, totally did that today. not. :) but there was an extremely slow walker that i somehow got stuck behind for QUITE A WHILE (including but not limited to multiple hallways and 2 flights of stairs) at school. you can't tell me no one else ever feels the same??

i mean, it's a real condition! :):
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703786804576138261177599114.html

like a sky without stars...

i found this beautiful picture while perusing online, and i don't think i've ever seen a face nearly this pretty.

of course i thought this was beautiful and of a most singular nature and i stared at it a very long time. as i scrolled down i noticed some dumbo in the comments section below the photo thought to say "GEE I bet SHE had insecurity issues when she was younger!tehe"

why don't we accept beauty? as it really is, how it occurs without makeup, surgery, photoshop? why do we need articles like this? who is making us try to strip away everything about ourselves?
is it us?

stop.

can i have a dollar for me?

really want:

http://www.tobi.com/product/35351-keds-champion-saddle-sneakers?color_id=43977

wouldn't they really be perfect with skinny jeans! .. i almost don't want anyone else to discover them. :S

when you're blue...

don't listen to adele. but then again, who am i to talk?

{random 7}

things that i found out recently:

1. i ebbbbbbbbay!

2. electric security fences, as found in prisons, do not cause sparks in rainstorms.

3. i can do new things! never saw myself in the group leader dynamic, but i randomly took charge and assigned everyone jobs in class today (*and* they didn't hate me!)

4. i'm planning on dying my hair this year or next

5. pinetrest.com is a fun time! also mint.com

6. chatting or acknowledging strangers live or phone does not scare me. note: does not apply to internet (fb chat, die.)

7. i am an old lady because i think michael buble seems.. just so* dependable! gasp*