vendo-land

so God is no way a genie in a bottle or a slot machine we can just put our good deeds or prayers into an receive a reward... but sometimes, he works like vending machines. yesterday i was very hungry...starving even (more accurately malnourished on solely peanut butter sandwiches and noodles.. and payday is a long way coming) and stopped by the vending machines at school between classes. i had three dollar bills in my wallet. {uh oh.} i usually try to keep those un-spent in case i run into trouble, needed to pay a tip, cab, public phone, bad guy, ect. but i was just too tempted and vendo-land seemed strangely beautiful, (not to mention has an ice cream vending machine with a mechanical arm as well, but that's another story). i determined beforehand i would make good choices, so i bit my lip, and stepped up to the third machine on the right. yes, there, $2.75 was a chicken sandwich in a wrapper. shunning all other candy, delectable treats, and caffeine-induced energy; i put in my last three dollars. i needed this, i can't remember the last time i had protein.  i consciously thought, i'm embarrassed to admit, what was i going to do in case of an emergency or next time i don't have food at the apartment? the machine whirred and then dropped my sandwich down into the drawer. i thought about pushing the coin return button.. after all, it's my quarter, thank you very much! i didn't though, that's what i would have usually done. i just bent down got my sandwich out of the door. *clink, clink, clink... coins were dropping into the coin return. *clink, clink, clink, clink.. okay, i think that was more than the sound one quarter makes. i hear coins keep dropping. almost afraid, i just kind of stand there. did i break the machine? (quick look around) did i just hit the jackpot? no, i tell myself, it probably is just malfunctioning and giving me my change back in dimes and nickles (which it does deposit change in at times). it keeps dropping coins. *clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink..faster.. at this point, i don't open the little metal coin door because i don't want it to stop. *clink, clink... finally, complete silence. i open the door and not only all the money i paid for my sandwich was there but also a TON more change! not just any change, but QUARTERS! i couldn't believe it.

God provided for me. a wave of thoughts flooded my head. i thought of joseph~ returning all of his brothers money back with them in their bags of grain, of the children of israel picking up mana every day, i thought of the parable of the lost coin~how precious it was to her. He cared about me. my little~ He made much of. He gave me my daily bread.

He ASTOUNDS us with his goodness... and then! ...and then, how quickly we forget..

my memory apparently wasn't functioning well, at all. the next day, {today} i am drawn to vendo-land again. i think i'm thinking i'm going to "rub the bottle again and the genie will come out"...so to speak, create the same stimuli and get the desired response. {in case you're not getting it, let me spell that out for you: g r e e d.} something catches my eye, first machine on the left. a lemon vitamin water was stuck inside sideways up against the glass, apparently a machine error. i banged on the glass, it budged enough to fall leaning on a blue propel/gatorade or something. here's my chance another free thing! i shake the door, no luck, and then put in my money and hit C08 ~ the blue propel, thinking that will push the lemon vitamin water down as well, thus getting two drinks with my money! no such magic... no propel, no lemon vitamin water, no refund. arrg. this is annoying. it ate MY MONEY! i was mad. where's the customer service number for this stupid machine. i kinda tapped my foot even and sighed loud. urg. and my money too!, my money... do you know how poor i am, i could have used that!? i turned the phrase over in my head.... no, something wasn't sounding right... oh. oh yeah...my money?... wasn't this the same money that God gave me yesterday? the same quarters? i mentally slap myself. i'm so stupid. so ungrateful. why do i worry? its up to God anyway.

i just felt. i don't know, overwhelming [[trust]]. right then.

and not just about the providing me vending machine items, just in regards to a lot on my mind.... i turn around to leave. a man with olive green coveralls comes around corner. "hey, your machine got stuck? here, have some change."

...no joke. wow.................... God.